Doubt: it’s a tricky little slime ball. It creeps in and whispers disastrous nothings of progressive spiritual decay and uncertainty in our worth. It’s poisonous and corrupt.
For some of us, we doubt so much that we no longer recognize faith. For others, we shrug it off and tell it to crawl back into the recesses of the darkest corners of our mind. But we’re human, and doubt along with the struggle to acknowledge and uphold self-worth will always be present. So I ask, is your doubt dormant or running rapid in your life?
There are so many different occasions in our lives that allow for us to devalue ourselves. We abandon ship on our hearts and sometimes we don’t even realize we’re doing it. What makes life worse is that there are even more instances that allow for others to devalue us. I mean seriously, we’ve come to a point where it’s considered the norm and we’re “lucky” if we get out without a chink in our armor. Unfortunate as it is most of us don’t.
It is said that adversity, weathered storms, and combat of sticks and stones will make our skin thicker and give us strength. How much of that thick skin is actually pieces of scar tissue that later make movement difficult and cause pain when it shouldn’t? For as many places we build strength from, how many spots are we ignoring that are still tender or immobilized by damage?
When we become uncertain of ourselves, it decapitates our mindset and fractures our ability to function in a manner that is going to propel us toward our goals. Since what is in our heads, dictates our behavior. Most times when we’re unsure or doubtful, we do that all too familiar, toxic tango. We want, but retreat… we wish, but don’t act…or if we begin to act, we quickly backpedal before any real progress is made.
This happens in so many areas of life; jobs, relationships, social functions. The most unfortunate part of this post is that I don’t even have a golden ticket to hand you and say, “Hey this is how you get to the release of doubt and the victory of self-worth!” There really is no “set” way; each person has his or her own journey to get to that point. There’s a great deal of times when people don’t even realize they’re devaluing themselves. Trust me, I’ve done it one too many times, myself.
What I can describe to you is the turning point, the axle in which we begin to become cognizant of our weary ways with doubt. It is a slow progressing ah-ha moment. And even upon discovering this, it’s still an uphill battle to correct years of giving in to the lesser value. The moment itself is rather dull and feels kind crappy actually. You start to want more out of life or perhaps you’ve been wanting more but you then recognize that you should have it. With that comes the acknowledgment that the path to being strong in yourself and your absolute worth is not going to be easy! It may cause you to have to separate yourself from familiar people, habitual thoughts, and previously pounded pavements. When you start to truly recognize your own self-worth, you feel stupid because you recollect all the times you’ve behaved poorly, devalued yourself or allowed others to do so, as well. It’s actually a blissfully shitty moment. But when you get past it, that’s when the real work begins and I can assure you, if you can stick to it and truly start to discern between old movement and purposeful movement, it’s a peacefully certain kind of thing and it is beautiful...
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